A Special Girl Part 2

Well, Mummy says she always knew I was really a girl. Even though she tried to deny it at first. In fact for the first few years of my life she tried to force me to be a boy. My dad had died just after I was born. He was in the army you see and there was some sort of training accident. So that left mummy and me all alone. She thought it was her fault that I was so girly. Blaming herself for letting me play with her make-up sometimes when she was getting herself ready to go out and stomping round in her, way too big, high heels. She thought it was cute at first, but then began to worry when I was taking no interest in any of the boy toys she bought me. She started to take me to my aunt and uncles house so I could play with my cousin Jake. But we just didn’t get along and I always ended up playing with my cousin Katie instead. Every time we would end up playing with her dollies or playing dress up.

Mummy thought things would get better once I started nursery school. But they didn’t. She hoped I would make lots of boy friends. But instead at that age I thought boys were yucky and always doing yucky things, like playing in the dirt and digging up worms and things. I much preferred playing with the girls. I guess that is when I first remember being called Alice. Mummy and daddy had named me Alan when I was born. But one of the girls started to call me Alice. Named after the girl in the story the teacher was reading to us. You know the one where she follows the rabbit down the hole. She said I was more like a girl than a boy and should have a girls name when I played with them. The other girls picked up on it and joined in. It stuck, but then the boys picked up on it too.

They started to make fun of me and call me names like sissy, just like you did. It became a big problem. That’s when Mummy took me out of the nursery. I cried for days and days because I missed my friends. Because I could be who I wanted to be without other judging me and being nasty to me. Why are boys like that? I think that is about the time Mummy realised that I may be a special girl and not a boy like she had thought. And she had a plan to find out.