Planting Trees

"OK. I've wrestled with that demon once or twice. What was his name?"

"Who?"

"The guy who liked to blow you."

"Oh, right. Richard. I met him through a guy I knew. I was stuck for a ride one night, and he really bailed me out. He told me he liked me and asked to do me."

"You were oh, so young and innocent, him older and experienced?"

"I wish. We were the same age." Kevin sighed deeply. "I'd been done by guys before, the oh-so-young-me-him-older years before."

Jacky nodded, affirming knowledge of a world many people are not privy.

"I felt I owed him, and I've always loved a good blow job."

Again, the nod. "So, you dated."

"Not by the slimmest definition. He'd call, we'd get together, he'd blow me. One night when he called, I suggested I make dinner. I do a shrimp and scallop scampi that's to die for. I had the night all planned out, flowers, candles, music. He said if I were hungry, we could grab a quick burger."

"Well, he was a man, you know."

"It wasn't about the dinner."

"I know. He never took your hand? Never kissed you? Never had a real conversation?"

"No."

"You wanted a human relationship. He wanted to suck your dick."

"Pretty much."

"Did you tell him you wanted to be his girlfriend, not just a popsicle?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I didn't admit it then. I was afraid he'd say no."

"Sad."

"Yeah."

Jacky narrowed her eyes, fiddling with a cigarette. "What kind of cross dresser were you – are you? I mean. I'm not sure what I mean."

"Again, a complex question, its answer has changed across the decades."

"Things are often clearer on the other side."

"I never thought I was born a woman in a man's body, if that helps."