The Greatest Lie Part 10

After our brains fried, we showered again, and Nancee took us shopping. The deals were irresistible, and Nancee was a ruthless, foul mouthed bargainer, who never left one baht extra on the table. Our arms were filled with sexy Thai sundresses, knock offs of Versace and Dolce and Gabbana tops, and even silk scarves for our moms and dragon shirts for Rick and Randy. We returned to the hotel, and could barely fit the loot into our bags. At the front desk was welcome news from Dr. Sanguan’s: both of the Doctor’s procedures for Monday had cancelled, and we were to report to his clinic immediately for preoperative procedures. We squealed with delight and sped off to the airport, just in time for the last flight to Phuket. Nancee said goodbye and promised to visit as soon as she was allowed.

I will spare you the details of my procedure. If you are really curious about Dr. Sanguan’s unique approach to SRS, I suggest you visit his website (http://www.phuket-plasticsurgery.com), or Anne Lawrence’s (http://www.annelawrence.com/srsindex.html), who features both Dr. Sanguan and many other Thai and Western doctors. You can even view pictures of the operation itself, in progress and in its aftermath, although, I can assure none of the graphics depict Tran or me.

For me, the surprise was that, although everything hurt, my boob job hurt the worst. And in the immediate aftermath, you can’t see any results: just gauze, and a lot of tubes. At least they put Tran and me in a room together, so that we could bitch to each other instead of suffering in the company of a stranger. They didn’t let Nancee visit until the day before we left for home. I still hadn’t seen anything, and my morale was in the pits. She brought me a jade ring from Eddie, and presented me and Tran with two wrapped boxes. We still had IV’s in our wrists and couldn’t open the boxes, so she tore off the tissue and held up cotton panties. Across the bottom was emblazoned the warning: "Sorry, Closed for Repairs." We laughed until we hurt, and laughed again every time we thought about them.