TO BE OR NOT TO BE - PART 4

By the time we got back to the hotel, we were having a great time. Mark had me laughing so hard I was getting pains in my side and tears in my eyes. It was after midnight and Mark walked me to my door. We agreed that we had a good time and I thanked him with a soft kiss on the lips that turned into a body grinding up against the door experience. Before we got carried away, I pushed him off. He moaned like I had kicked him in the balls.
"We can't, not tonight. I've got too much on the line and not a lot of time. You of all people should know what I mean," I said to him.
"I know, it's just that the more I get to know you, the more I like you. You're different than other girls."
"Gee, really?"
"I didn't mean it that way. Oh, you know what I mean. This is all so damn confusing. You're like . . . and, and, I'm like . . . and, oh, I just don't know what the fuck is happening to me."
Out in the public, rubbing shoulders with the up and ups, Mark was right at home. He was in control, so sure of himself. Now in private, here with me, he let down his guard and was showing me that he was just as confused about life as everybody else.
"It's okay, Mark. Look, I met someone tonight that I never knew before and I liked him. He was charming, he made me laugh, he showed me a side of himself that I didn't know existed. Don't get down on yourself, sweetie, you're a great guy and I hope to get to know you better in the time we have left here. Okay?"
We hugged and agreed to do it again soon. I undressed and got into bed thinking he's not a bad guy. When I wondered what he looked like naked, I realized how much I was thinking and acting like a woman. Six months ago thoughts like this would have freaked me out. Now they seemed so natural, like second nature. Mark was different from Antonio. I liked Antonio, but I really had fun with Mark tonight. What a trip this trip was getting to be. I came looking to do something different and this was certainly different. I couldn't imagine what would happen next. I was thinking this is what sissy heaven would be like and fell asleep thinking about my two guys.