Yellow Polka Dot Bikini(s)

"So, you're two timing her already? Are you buying a bikini for that blonde at Starbucks? I told you she likes you. She's always staring at you and she gives you more coffee than she gives me, filling your cup right up to the brim. She's seductively sexy. Why she works at Starbucks and not at the Pink Pussycat is beyond me."

"Not all good looking woman with hot bodies want to strip off their clothes in front of a bunch of horny guys, Dave."

"Who is the bikini for, then?"

"It's a surprise."

"Well, the only thing that I like better than bikinis are surprises and since this trip has both elements, I'll go."

"Great. I'll pick you up in fifteen."

Dave and I arrived at the mall and I scoured the directory for the location of a bathing suit store. Perfect. Up on the second level, away from all the foot traffic was the Brazilian Beach Bikini Boutique. Any bikini shop that has Brazilian Beach in the name, must have the best bikinis, as Brazil has the best women wearing the tiniest bikinis.

A beautiful blonde buttonholed us at the entrance of the store. I've known Dave since we were kids and, in the way that he was leering at her, it was obvious to me what he was thinking. He'd love to see this beautiful, blonde babe in a Brazilian beach bikini and bone her later in the back of the boutique.

She attacked us in the way that a woman selling perfume or lingerie attacks men, who wander into their store, unsuspecting of their sexually beguiling selling tactics and unprepared for their confident determination to take no for an answer. This orchestrated sales behavior was our personal payback for the way that auto mechanics and used car salesmen prey on women.

"May I help you," she said directing her question to me and taking a step away from Dave's leering stare.

"I need to buy a bikini."

"As you can see, we have a large selection in every style, color, and fabric by every designer," she said, while turning to wave her hand in the way of a Price Is Right model displaying a showcase. "If you can't find what you like off the rack, we have a designer shop that can custom create any bikini to suit the body of your wife or girlfriend."